watercolor90
Apr 17 2002, 05:37 PM
november clouds secreting the moon
fill the sky with frigid pins
creating cracked glass daggers
that snip and snare unsettled hooves
as the rider struggles down the palisade.
slate cinder pebbles icing pearl
repel paces on the path
shooting cold tingling twitches
up strained ankles, flanks and thighs
as stubborn ice tears shake off the riders eyes.
SavyAngel
Apr 18 2002, 05:19 AM
Yes, this is a little better, but I'm still sticking to my repsonse to this in the critique section. Needs a little something more. This is good though.
watercolor90
Apr 18 2002, 01:48 PM
sav
thanks for comments and i'll continue in the critique
forum....
color
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