I've been writing this in my free time for almost a year and a half now and I am a little happy with it.  BUt I want opinions, suggestions, and any comments or insults you might have.
I post this by chapters You help is appreciated.

this does not include chapter one


The course began as a hill run.  The hill was steep and slippery.  The rain that poured the night before made it hard.  But after a few minutes I reached the top.  I spared no time to look back and continued on.  The next section was a mile swim.  I dove into the water and started to kick.  The more I kicked it seemed the faster I went.  But the harder I kicked the more I swerved to the right or left.  So I had to start pushing with my arms.  The water was freezing and I was feeling fatigue.  Then I remembered what the text book said about fatigue.  So I started to picture something I wanted at the end of the obstacle course.  But what it was is a secret.  
When I finally finished swimming I walked up shore and wasted no time to continue.  The next course was a tunnel test.  I took off the back pack and got on my stomach.  I pushed the pack in front of me and crawled through the small space and narrow passages.  The tunnels is what scared me the most.  I was always a little Closter phobic.  But I didn't let that stop me, I couldn't.  So I gathered up the fear and kept going.  When I finally  crawled out of that tunnel I took a drink front the bottle of water by my side and snapped it back.
I then noticed my next challenge.  I took the gun off the rack and dashed for the nearby trench.  It was the sharp shooter course.  I had to go through a battle scene.  Just like it was in real war.  I looked over the edge and noticed the enemy cowering down in the hole.  I took aim and began to fire on the ones I noticed.  But without caution.  I was nearly killed.  Well in the VR mission.  But all I had to do was aim and shoot.  It was nothing compared to the next challenge.
I had to jump from trench to trench, dodging bullets, and firing my gun at the enemy at the same time.  I laid in the first trench and looked over the edge and noticed the machine gunner holding down a platoon by a truck.  I aimed for his head and fired two rounds.  The gunner fell to the ground and I held the rifle in one hand and ran on.  I dashed and jumped into the next trench.  I then looked over the edge and this time I felt dirt fly into my eye.  I laid back into the trench and wiped out the dirt.  I then tried to look over but I was missed by a bullet one inch from my head.  I backed down into the hole and saw a grenade next to me.  I took a mirror and put it over the edge a little.  I notice the man shooting at me and pulled the pin on the grenade.  As fast as I could I stood up, threw the grenade into the hole, and ducked.  When the grenade blew I jumped up and ran for the next hole.  
This time the entire scenery changed.  I was facing a mortar row and I was playing aimer.  "Johnson! Range!" the fire man yelled.  I looked through my binoculars I had in my bag.  I searched for a point that looked important and then remembered.  I asked for a target and was told the tank line.  So I looked for it.  I got a ranging, and demanded,  "30 degrees east 700 meters.  Fire!"  I gave at least thirty commands till I knew it was time to head for the last challenge.  
This time I faced a mountain.  "And when you reach the top," I heard.  "Capture the fort and set the explosives.  Johnson's team you ride the chopper up halfway and climb the rest.  Go!"  When noone ran to the chopper I assumed it was me and ran for the helicopter.  I was followed by three men.  The helicopter took us up I'd say a few thousand feet and told us to get out. So we jumped out on to the cliff that was to the right of us.  We leaped out the side and we reached the edge.  But then I heard a scream.  I looked behind me and saw one of my men standing on the edge as if to fall off.  I ran to him and grabbed his hand.  The other man grabbed mine and pulled us closer to the mountain.  I looked up and stared in amazement at the top.  I wasted no time and grabbed on of the holes in the mountain and pulled myself up.  I used my entire upper body strength to pull myself up.  But when I noticed one of my soldiers slipping I grabbed his wrist and pulled him up.  He got a better hold and we continued on.  When we finally reached the top we took a second to rest.  Then we stood up and I looked at the cabin.  The helmet I wore was feeding my info on what the mission was about and I gave orders.  "Now you two," I said pointing at the two men in front of me.  "Take the left door and when we smoked the room don't let anyone past you.  We'll search the rest of the top to see if anyone else is here."  We went our separate ways and me and Will, the man following me, crouched down and went to the right.  We circle the house to the front and heard laughter from inside.  I noticed a helicopter and knew it wasn't ours.  We ran crouched down to it and I heard sounds from inside.  I knew that the gun would make to much noise so I pulled out my knife.  I crawled under the helicopter to the other side and noticed the door was open.  Inside a man was sleeping wrapped up in blankets.  His helmet he had on had the German insignia on it.  I held the knife by the blade and threw it at the soldiers head.  The knife pierced his forehead and blood flowed down the helicopter.  I then crawled back to the other side and grabbed my gun.  We ran crouched back to the front door after looking around again to make sure that noone was outside.  I waited a minute to get ready for the smoke and pulled out two foggers.(a grenade that releases a thick fog of smoke)  In a second I kicked the door opened and thre the foggers inside.  The smoke filled the air and I grabbed my gun.  We jumped in and stood side by side firing our weapons.  when the smoke cleared we noticed the bodies on the floor.  The blood stained the carpet and smell started to get foul.  Me and Will walked down the hall way and came to a door.  I was the only door.  So instead of the fogger I threw in a stun grenade.(a stun grenade sends volts of electricity through the body in a room.  Making the stunned person or persons paralyzed)  When the stunner wore of after I threw it in. I kicked the door open again.  We searched thought the room for a certain man.  After a minute or two Will shouted to me that he was over where he was.  I raced to him and turned the body on it's side.  The face fit the picture I saw and knew it was the wanted man.  I picked up the lifeless body and carried him out over my shoulder.  I laid him on his back and strapped a parachute on him.  Will grabbed the body tied himself to it.  He ran off the side and leaped into the air.  He seemed airborne for a second then looked as if a bomb plummeting to the ground below.  Then we saw the helicopter that brought us up land in front of us.  We jumped on to it.  But one of the men lost his footing.  He slipped and started to fall.  I jumped out of the helicopter and grabbed his wrist and with my legs grabbed the legs of helicopter.  I suspended in the air holding on to the soldier so tight my hand hurt.  I didn't want to lose anyone.  
When we landed the scenery changed to the obstacle course again.  I looked at the finish line and raced on.  But then I saw Dickson.  He was next to me.  We crossed the finish line together, some how.
After the race the Lieutenant General Beckum gave us a chance to rest.  We hadn't known the course took us twelve hours.  It seemed like two.  But it was twelve.  Basically because the tunnels were so long.  We were given a chance to eat and rest for two hours.  But then we had to meet Lieutenant General Beckum at the radio establishment tent.  
When we got there we to sit at the desk and take the final portion of the Trojan test, the knowledge test.  We were tested on the our knowledge of weapons, ranks, military electronics.  That's what I figured out what Locks meant by what he shouldn't have done.  The test I took was the something as the test I was taking then.  Same questions same order.  But then it came time for the scores.  At 23 hundred hours I waited with Dickson out side Backup’s office for our scores.  He finally emerged from his office and stared at us.  Dickson you scored a seven eighty-nine out of eight hundred.  Dickson the required score is seven hundred, you made a six ninety-eight.  I'm sorry.  But Johnson you start next week as a Trojan.  For your win you have been granted a week off.  Report at Fort Franklin in Paris Sunday morning at O eight hundred.  See you there."  Beckum walked off and I looked at Dickson.  He faced me and held his hand out.  I took it and hugged him.  We let go and he looked at me.  "You are good competition.  Hopefully we meet again.  I am John," he said
"Josh and the next time we meet you'll be a Trojan," I replied.  He walked off and I sat back on the beech outside Backup’s office.  I started to think about my wife and how she was.  So I went up to the payphone and put in at least a dollar worth of change.  I dialed my home phone number and that sweet voice sounded over the phone, "Hello?"  

Chapter 3
It was late into the night as I lied there to think.  It was the same night as I took the test and I was wondering what it would be like.  I felt a little nervous.  I was to leave at seven to got to Fort Chester in Colorado.  I was able to go back to the states but I wasn’t able to go see any loved ones.  I got very few hours of sleep that night.  How could I sleep?  So when some man came in and woke me up I turned on my side and ignored him.  He pulled the covers off me and yelled, “Get up Johnson!”  I jumped out of the bed and tripped over the covers.  I fell flat on my face and was facing the short man.  Although for being short he sure could yell.  “Get dressed and outside in ten minutes with your bag.  Now go!” he yelled in my ear.  I was still on the floor when he yelled at me.  I got off the floor and got up and stood on the floor.  I picked up my uniform and put it on.  I then picked up the duffle bag on the floor next to my bed, and walked out of the door.
Outside the door I saw a jeep and the man from a few minutes ago, sitting in the drivers seat.  I walked up to him and got in the passenger side.  I tossed my bag in the back and he started the jeep up.  We drove down the cement road to a small troop transport.  “You’ll be seated in the front with the pilot,” said the man.  I got out of the jeep and walked to the cockpit door.  The man looks at me and called out, “here’s your bag!”  He tossed it to me and I caught it.  I walked up the mobile staircase and walked through the open door.  I walked in and stared at the tall pilot.  He stared back at me with his glasses.  “Welcome aboard,” said the pilot.  I looked and sat in one of the chairs behind him and laid my bag next to me.  “I’m level 3 Donaldson.”
“Trojan private Johnson,” I said.  
“Flight TT129 ready for take off.  Waiting for orders.”
“Proceed to runway lane,” I heard overhead.  The plane started to move and I felt al little woozy.  I get nervous on an airplane.  I have a small fear of flying.  The pilot looked back at me and said, “You okay?”
“Sort of,” I replied.
“Just breath steadily.”  I started to take small deep breaths and didn’t look out the window next to me.  “Flight TT129 proceed to air lift,” I heard.  I then felt the plane start to move up.  Since we were slanted at an angle.  “Lift off complete,” the pilot said.
“Copy that TT129.  Continue on with the flight plan.  We expect a call back in two hours when you reach the Pacific border.”
“Yes sir, look out tower.”
For a few minutes Donaldson and me didn’t talk to each other.  I didn’t want to interrupt him with his job.  But he was the first one to speak up.  “So Johnson, you’re the one that was sent to me to get a ride to the states,” he said.
“Yep,” I replied.
“So you’re going to Colorado?”
“Yep.”
“I have to go back to China in twelve hours.  We have to go slow over the Pacific.”
“Why?”
“It’s war time.  If we exceed the sound speed the Japanese will believe we’re a bomber turning on them.  So we get clearance and go slow.”
“Makes sense.”
“Yeah, ever since the Japanese took our ocean with that big fleet of theirs they’ve been running the ocean.  It’s scary to go over it.  But we’ll have to stop at the mid air base over Tokyo.”
“We have to check in?”
“And pick up a bunch of Japanese soldiers.”
“How long will that take?”
“A few minutes.  Then we’ll be on a one way trip to Fort Chester.  You might as well sleep.  We have a five-hour ride to the states.  I’ll wake you at eleven: thirty.”
“Okay, thanks.”
I lied back in the chair I sat in and got in a comfortable position, and tried to fall asleep.
I don’t exactly know how long later we left I woke up, but I know it was at least an hour or two.  And when I did we were at the midair base that Donaldson was talking about.  Donaldson was lying back in the seat and I was wondering how much longer.  It had been already and hour and he said it would take a few minutes.  “Donaldson, how much longer?” I asked.
“I don’t know.  This usually takes a few minutes but word has it from the tower that the President is here and their taking no chances.  So they’re checking all the planes,” he replied.
“Oh, I’m hungry.”
“So am I.”  He looked in the cooler next to him and opened it.  He then closed it and looked at me.  “I’m out.  I forgot to refill the cooler.  I’m going to go get us some snacks.  But in the mean while you wait here.”  He opened the door and walked outside.  I sat there for a minute and then someone popped his head into the cockpit.  “Where’s the pilot?”  The guy asked.
“He went to go get something,” I answered.
“Then can you help me?”
“What is it?”
“We need to get some troops loaded.”
“Okay.”
“Good come with me.”  I got up from my seat and walked out of the cockpit.  When I got out I followed the man to the back of the plane.  There I saw at least 40 troop crates.  He led me to the crane and asked me to hook them up to the crates.  
He threw me the hooks and I hooked the first, second, third, and fourth hook to the hangers of crate nearby.  He raised the crate and put it in the hanger.  I went into the hangar and unhooked the hooks from the crate and hooked them to the next crate.  We did this to every single crate.  After about two hours all the crates were in the plane and I went back to the cockpit.  Donaldson was sitting down in his chair and I walked back to mine.  Before I sat down Donaldson reached his hand back and said, “we never formally met.  I’m Arnold.”
“Josh,” I said.  We shook hands and he looked into the cooler again.  
“I forgot the drinks.  Here’s ten dollars and go get us some soda, nothing disgusting, kay?”
“Okay.”  I walked out of the cockpit and to the nearby building.  As I walked through the front door three men bombarded me.  They grabbed me by the arms and picked me up.  “What are you doing in here?” one of them asked.  
“To the… drink… machine,” I stuttered.  I was a bit surprised and wondered what the crime was to come in.
“Oh sorry.  We’re a little paranoid.  We must keep the president safe.  But I’ll have to send someone with you.  Mintseto, go with him.”  They let me down and I walked on down the hall.  This tall man followed me where I was going.  I then noticed the drinks down the hall and went up to it.  The tall man stood beside me and watched as I put the money in the machine.  As I pressed the buttons he would lean over me and watch.  When I was finished he helped me carry the bags back to the plane.  When we got there he put the drinks in the cooler.  When he left I noticed that Arnold wasn’t there.  I looked around and then noticed a note on his chair.  It read:
Josh went to straighten things out with the tower.  We won’t leave till the morning.  Engine problems.  I’ll be back in a few hours.
I put the letter down and sat in my chair.  I sat for a while reading one of the books on the shelf behind me.  I figured he lived in this plane.  After an hour he still wasn’t back.  I was hot and there wasn’t much to do, so I decided to step out of the plane and stretch my legs.  As I did, I noticed that no one was around.  The air smelt like smoke and the steel ground was gray and my reflection shown in the floor.  I stared around me, just looking for something interesting.  But all I could notice was a group of soldiers being lead by another man.  I figured it was their leader so I just stood by and watched.  The next thing I heard was a door closing.  I looked at the plane and the cockpit door was shut.  I walked over to it and pulled the handle and tried to pull it open.  But the door didn’t open.  So I stood outside to think and looked around to the other side.  There was no side door.  I was a little stumped and didn’t know what to do.  I stood up and walked to the tall tower in hopes to find Arnold.  When I got inside the men from before that stopped me wasn’t there.  I figured they were on a break or in the middle of a shift change. So I walked on into the building.  I looked for the desk where I could call Arnold but there wasn’t one.  But as I was turning a bend in the hall and I heard a commotion.  I suck a peek around the corner and a man stood there talking to another man.  “Mr. President we need to launch the strike soon.  The German’s won’t wait any longer,” said one of the men.
“I know,” said the other man.
“So give the word, I’ll make the call, and five hundred thousand soldiers are on their way to the United States.”
“I’m scared of what they’ll do back.”
“Don’t worry.  We’re sending a spaceship over a the sited missile silos we found from aerial photographs.”
“Fine then send the spaceship men and then send the troops.”

   
“Yes sir.”  One of the men walked off to the left, on the other side of the hall.  I stood there with my back against the wall hoping not to be seen.  Then the other man walked the other way.  I felt a terrified.  I had just heard about a strike on the United States.  I didn’t move, until the patrolmen that had returned caught me.  They picked me up and carried me outside.  I stood outside for the rest of time till Arnold returned.  One of the soldiers offered to go get Arnold but I told him I’d wait outside.  After a few more hours he finally showed up.  
“How are things?” he asked.
“Oh great, I locked myself out,” I replied.
“Oh here are the keys.  We’ll be settling here for the night.  I have two rooms reserved for us at the local visitors hotel.”
“Okay.”
“Are you alright?  You look a little shook up.”
“I’m okay.”
“Alright then.  Let’s go.”  We walked upstairs to the rooms of the hotel and went straight to sleep.  We had to get up the next day to leave around 2:30 P.M.  I didn’t sleep well at all that night and when we got up the next morning I didn’t try to sleep at all the entire way.  Arnold said the ride would be at least five hours.  Because there was a little change in security overt the Pacific.  I figured I knew why.  
When we were out a ways I decided it was time I told Arnold what I heard.  I turned to look at him, and I could see a determined look on his face.  He glanced at me then turned back to his work.  With an annoyed look after a few seconds he looked at me and asked, “What?”
“I have something to tell you,” I replied.  I paused.
“Well.”
“Oh yeah, this may be hard to believe but I overheard a conversation.  It was between two men, the President of Japan and someone else.  They were talking about a raid on America.  They have spaceships and even troops in this plane, probably.”
“What?” he said surprised.
“Yeah.”
“Nah.”
“Yeah.”
“Really?”
“Yes!”  I was irritated by now.  All of a sudden he laughed and looked at me.
“What a joke.  They probably knew you were there and wanted to scare you off.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Josh, there is no raid.”
“But-”
“Josh, I’m serious there is no raid.”
“Yeah, your right.  I should just chill out.”
“Good, now go to sleep.”  I laid my head down on the armrest of the couch and fell asleep.  
“Josh,” I heard.  “Wake up.  We’re here.”  I leaned up and looked out the window.  We had landed inside the base hangar.  I noticed someone walking to the back of the plane.  I took my time putting my shoes on and tied.  But while I tied the second shoe I heard a shot.  Right away I knew that sound.  It was the sound of a laser weapon.  I looked out the window again and huge groups of soldiers, dressed in Japanese uniforms, were storming out of the planes around my plane and soldiers from ours.  The first thing I felt was horror.  I was terrified that this was happening.  I felt scared that I might die in this battle.  
I looked at the pilots seat and Arnold was gone.  He wasn’t in his seat.  I looked out the window again and there he was, lying on the steel stairs that lead to the ground from our plane.  He was bleeding excessive amounts of blood.  I felt sorry for him and said to myself, “Why did I force myself to disbelief?”  I looked under my seat and noticed a L100 pistol.  I took it from its placement and held it in my hand.  It was very light and black.  I crouched down into the pilot seat and tried to gather enough courage to crack open the door slightly and start firing on the enemy.  As I did a laser went streaming into the cockpit.  It impacted with the control panel and the panel began to spark.  A light started to flash that read, “emergency fire reaching for fuel tank, evacuate.”  Without a moments thought I jumped up, leaped through the door way while being smacked by the door.  I fell to the floor and landed on my back.  With the wind knocked out of me I staggered to standup and run crouched down as fast as possible.  But it was to late.  As I jumped through the enormous closing door, I was shot in the leg.  I fell to the ground and grabbed it.  I knew I couldn’t run, so I lied there.  A few seconds later two men came and picked me up.  They carried me to the nearest shed.  They put me on top of the table, laying my back.  They started to cover my wound frantically with a towel lying next to me.  They took string and tied them tight a few inches from my wound, probably to cut circulation.  They then took an ice pack from one of the soldiers backpack and put it on my leg.  I felt a rush of coldness.  Then my leg went numb.  I couldn’t feel it.  The pain stopped and I stood up to walk.  I stared out the shed door and the huge hangar was rumbling.  It’s walls shook so violently that it was most likely to fall apart.  Then the hangar door exploded.  It ejected hundreds of feet away.  The enemy soldiers charged out of the hangar through the garage doorway.  They were shooting soldiers that were unarmed and children that were waiting for their mothers and fathers to get off the plane.  Innocent people were dying and I stood there and stared with a fear in my eye.  I was to frightened to move or even yet to breath almost.  I wasn’t about to move from my spot.  I was still to scare.  I stood there and watched in horror of the devastation the Japanese caused.  
The men that hauled me back were charging out together in a rage that they seemed proud.  They held the American flag together, hand in hand.  They seemed as if they were ready to die.  Then, when they fell to the ground and a river of red thick blood drained from their bodies and flowed to my feet, I felt as I should run and pick the flag up.  I stood there and watched no more.  The sight became so horrifying it was almost like something out of a book.  I had to accept this reality.  I looked out the doorway and stared at the flag abandoned on the ground.  I then dashed as fast as my legs could carry me across the field of battle through a fog of bullets and a rain of mortar.  When I arrived at the flag I kept running knelt down so I could run and pick it up at the same time.  When I snatched the flag I kept running through the deadly field.  I was scared I admit but I kept running.  I didn’t stop running.  Because across the other side of the blood field there was a row of soldiers that became a blockade of U.S. soldiers defending the East tower.  I kept running and when I was a few feet from the trench I leaped through the air and landed inside the trench.  I could still see that I was alive and okay.  But I was still scared.  A small amount of assurance came over me when I landed inside the hole.  But landing on a man’s leg became uncomfortable instantly.  I was helped up and given a L250S.  I took it from the giver and said nothing of my wounded leg.  I knew the pain would return and I would lie there grasping the leg, but for now I needed to pay attention to the problem.  I knew that we couldn’t stay here very long and that we were also out numbered at least 100 to 1.  I was frightened, but I’m a patriot and I said when I took the Army Oath I’d fight till death.  I was there to fight that’s why I didn’t take the chance to run.  
So when the Japanese formed a row of soldiers lined up in formation I flinched and started to recall all the good times I’ve had.  My wife in Arama, Ohio, our little girl Savanna, and my mom, were lingering in my thoughts so deep.  I had something to thank God for.  
“Soldiers, aim low!” someone ordered.  I looked through the small scope in my rifle seeking some Japanese soldier.  When I spotted a man who seemed to be directing the foe I figured he’d be someone to shoot.  Without orders I sought his head and blast a hole in his head.  The guy ordering us, swat me over the head and started to cuss me out.  I figured I did a good deed but when he fell another man replaced him instantly.  I was then shoved back to my position after being hauled away.
I crouched down in the trench pondering the thought why we weren’t making our move.  Then a whisper passed to me that said, “Aim for the heart, pass it on.”  I told the next guy the same and he told the next.  It went on like a chain.  I aimed for a man that was listening to the replacement of whom I shot.  Then they fell in line and an order screamed out of the cussing man’s mouth, “fire!”
We opened fire on which we had an aim on and all hell broke loose.  The Japs were racing for us.  We kept murdering them.  But as many dropped five men seemed to take one man’s place.  As bullets streamed through the air the Japanese were about breach our lines.  And soon this fight would be more than just long range.  Then after about one minute the Japanese reached our trench.  One man bombarded into my head.  The force knocked me back. As he fell down and was being trampled over, I lied there while I was being, ran over my back.  They didn’t stop until the end of the line came.  Then as I watched a brawl breaks out between the Americans and the Japanese a man came over to me and stared down at me.  I was to scare to say a thing.  Then he said something in a foreign tongue and a man picked me up and through me over his shoulder.  I stared at his back as he carried me to the shed.  Then I fell to the floor and I noticed the man had stumbled.  I looked at him and he was bleeding excessively.  I wasn’t to sure what had happened but I do know that someone was helping me.  So I stood up and limped off to the nearest shed.  I closed the door behind me and there a man hid.  I looked at his face and he yelled in a different language.  I knew it wasn’t Japanese.  It didn’t sound like it.  He covered hi face and shook.  I knew he was afraid.  I looked into his eyes and sat down.  He then quit yelling and looked at me.  “You are not Japanese,” he said slowly.  
“No,” I replied.
“You American?”
“Yeah.”
“Thank God, I am Benjamin Lofenburg.”
“Hi I’m Joshua Johnson.”
“Is it over?”
“That’s a stupid question to ask.”
“Sorry.”
“Why are you hiding in here?”
“The same reason you are, scared.”
“I don’t want to be a coward.”
“If you go out there you’ll die.  The odds are against you.”
“I know.”
“I tell you something.  Live to fight another day.  That’s what I was told by my superior.”
“In a sense you are right.”
“Come with me.”
“Where?”  He stood up and turned around.  He moved a huge tire and unveiled a hole.  
“This is a tunnel to the far point station.  Then we’ll hop an escape vehicle.”
“But-”
“Just come with me.  The order is to retreat.  Can’t you hear it?”  I stood still for a second and listened to the action outside.  I could hear cries of pain and cries of retreat.  I looked at the hole then the door.  I then walked over to the hole and crawled through it.  
We crawled for the next thirty minutes or so.  Then we came across an opening.  I peaked out a hole and a man walked by.  I pushed the medal covering out and it fell to the ground with a loud crash.  I crawled out of the hole and men were running to escape pods.  We ran to one and go into one.  I pushed the ejection button and the door closed.  We were jetted away form the building as I looked out my window.  
We sat there talking to each other about where we had been.  I told him I was to join the Trojans and he told me he was to be sent off to Bermuda.  Then after an hour of flying we arrived at a space station.  I didn’t know we had gone into space since the window went black.  We looked out and the door opened.  We were helped out of our pod and told that we were one of the few that made it.  We had not known they were shooting down escape pods.  The pods were sound proof.  I was carried to sickbay and spent the next few days in bed.  
“Johnson,” I heard.
“Who is it?” I replied.
“I’m from the Trojan academy.  You are a new recruit so get up and get dressed we leave in the next hour.  So hurry.”  I stood up and stared at the man.  He was tall and muscular. The medals he wore shone brightly.  He walked out of my room.  I then got dressed and walked out of my room.  He met me there and escorted me to a small ship.  We boarded the ship and the door closed.  “That place was Emergency Extract.  All the American bases in Asia go there when they evacuate,” he said.
“Yes sir,” I replied.
“I’m going to take you to your new superior and your team.”
“Yes sir.”
The entire ride was long because I couldn’t stop thinking about him and what I was going to ask.  I was going to ask what that place was we were just at but he said it.  How did he know?  Were the rumors true?
It was about five hours later of peanuts and Gatorade we reached a large base.  When we landed I was prompted to get out of the ship.  I marched out escorted by the man from before.  He led me to a conference room in a tower.  As we entered the room Sergeant Major Wilson stood at the head of the table and Corporal Locks was next to him.  Then the man left me and I was facing a team of eleven men.  “At ease,” Wilson said.  “Welcome to the Apox Squad.  You know Sergeant Locks.”
“Yes sir,” I replied.
“This is Barter, our recon man and doctor; Mandark and Donner, our heavy assault team; Mater and Will, our snipers; Biller, Docker, and Mindor, our inside assault team; Miller and Bob, our flankers; and you our turret/defense man.  You’ll do turrets until we get a new recruit.  Then you’ll work defense with Locks, the defense commander.”
“It will be a pleasure to work with you Sergeant Locks.”
“Apox team, report to dispatch tower,” roared over the intercom.
“Let’s roll,” Wilson stated.  The men ran out and I stood there as Locks walked up to me.  
“Welcome to the Apox, follow me,” he said.
I followed him to another tower.  Wilson stood, armed with a rifle and carrying a pack.  “Grab your pack, Johnson,” Wilson said.  I looked to my right and on a shelf a pack labeled “Johnson” hung on the wall.  I went to pick it up and was startled by its weight.  It was considerably heavier than what I had been trained to carry.  But I picked it up and strapped it to my back.  I was handed a rifle and held it in my hands.  I walked up the platform and on to the dispatch team ship.  
During the ride we were informed on our objectives.  I figured I had an easy one, defend a base.  Now I don’t figure anymore.  “Johnson, you know how to set up turrets.  It was in the test.  So just do good and all will be well,” Locks said.  
A few hours later we were told to be prepared to get out and run to cover.  “We have one hour to get out of the area and to our base.  So no stalling and lets get going.  Be careful, even though it’s suspected to be clear till we get out another mile the enemy has been know to push every once in a while.  That’s our main goal.  Keep them from getting past us.  The odds may be against us but we will stand firm,” Wilson stated.  Then the door opened and we were on our way, rushing out to get to a small building no bigger than a regular two-story suburb home.  
Then just before we entered the building shots struck the door way and we were forced to fall to the ground.  We hid behind sand bags laying on our backs while the gunfire started to tear into the sacks.  “Sergeant Major Wilson?” Locks bellowed.  “What do we do?”
“STAY LOW!” Wilson ordered out crying at the top of his lungs.

Well, I'm not sure what kind of help you want, so feel free to ignore my advice, if you like.  Here it is. You've obviously put alot of thought into this piece, planning carefully about where and how the military pieces of the puzzle go together, and I think that has absorbed the writing to an extent. I feel that this piece lacks an emotional intensity, it seems rather flat and choppy in the way it was written. With personal embelishments, more about the voice on the phone, more about the intensity of the situation he was in, even in the training run, would root the reader. There is a great deal of detail that could be added by showing the reader a personal look, through this character's eyes. As it stands now, this could be any Tom, Dick, or Harry, since we know nothing of the character, and there are no really personal touches. I think also that more detail on the situations around him would be wonderful to the writing, flushing it out with knowledge, and getting rid of an almost detatched feeling. This is just MHO, and I hope it helps you.

Hey,

I agree with Razorblade. The story seems pretty cool, but there are alot of details missing that would otherwise create an attatchment between the reader and the characters, or even to the story as a whole. You want the reader to experience as much vicarious emotion as possible, or else they wont want to touch the pages again. A book is like a roller coaster---the more thrills (emotionally speaking), the better. Not necessarily meaning every page has to have a murder or an explosion, but rather through the finest of detail--it's a thrill in and of itself to experience a situation or feeling that you're not even directly involved in.

But the things that stuck out to me the most were the simple grammatical/word usage errors. You know, things like "their", "there," and "they're", etc. Another example was when you used the phrase "In the mean while"...which is actually a mixture of "In the meantime", and "Meanwhile", which is one word, not two. Be careful to check your grammar carefully, because it's difficult for some readers (such as myself, unfortunately) to get into a story when they're constantly being distracted by these miniscule things. Also, it may make it difficult for the reader to truely believe what you, the voice of the book, are trying to get across.

You're off to a great start,

~Laura~

Heh, I really like the curt dialogue. You might want to try and flesh out the characters a wee bit more, though that dialogue, though. I know that sounds like I'm contradicting myself, but I'm sure there's a way to do this. And maybe I'm wrong. Maybe we get to feel for the characters more so later on. This is a novel, right? Yeah. So this is probably a good bit of character for a first chapter.

Sorry, I'm not very good at critiquing. Especially novels. Just kind of giving you a direct feed from my brain here. Hopefully there's something you can use in here.

Anyway, regardless of everything, I think you have a great idea, and a good base, here. Keep it up.