I am starting to appreciate the fact that humans have a tendency to repress memories and emotions. They can stay hidden for a lifetime, or they can slowly show themselves to those who are ready to face and experience them. No one has the right to force others to face their inner pain or demons, as some call them, before they are ready. I think our lives have a time line and for many, self confrontations may not be needed, or even helpful. I do not believe that those who walk the inner path, or better, deeper, or more intelligent than those who do not. For life in itself gives us enough material to work with and presents numerous small and also large decisions that have to be made on a daily basis, that allow, or hinder us, in growing to become better human beings. At times I feel our small choices we make through out our days may in fact be more important than the large ones. Or perhaps our small choices lead us to make larger choices that can either be for our good or ill.

Some of the most well rounded people I know and love are ones who are not encumbered by constant introspection about ones inner nature. They are kind, grounded, in the moment and when they are around things get done and everyone gets along. The only problem comes when we try to communicate with each other about life and its meaning. There comes a point, (I guess this happens when ever two people try to communicate), when the separate worlds lived in by the other cannot be traversed. Such is the pain of needing words to get ones point across. For each of us interrupts words differently. I am sixty two, suppose I am trying to communicate with another man or woman my age. Well we bring our past experiences to play in the present moment. Even if it is not consciously done, yet powerfully at work nonetheless…..one hundred and twenty four years of experiences trying to intermingle and share can be a demanding experience.

Some people are highly rational. Others more intuitive, still there are those who are very practical about things and others feel deeply about whatever they are talking about. Each has a way of looking at the world, the same world, yet different in how it is experienced….how do they communicate? From my experience it is not easy. I guess I am a more intuitive type of person. It does not mean that I am not rational, or feel strongly about things, or even at times I can be practical, yet the primary way that I perceive and interrupt is through my intuition. So in talking to a highly rational person can be frustrating because we can often be talking about the same thing from a different perspective. I think there have been times when I thought about not trying to explain myself anymore, or for that matter, trying to understand the perspective of others. Our strongest point of contact with the world can in fact be one of our greatest obstacles in growing in understanding of the world around us and those other “pesky” humans.

I think this difficulty in communication, can be experienced in the political debates that we in our culture get way too much of. The right and the left, now that is a telling example in living color that we can all see , in how difficult it can be to simply agree on the simplest of issues. It is not all ‘partisan’ by any means; some of it is incomprehension of another’s point of view. I love to read ‘Ann Coulter’, for her humor, but she is a good example of one who has a way of perceiving the world, that is different let us say from ‘Hilary Clinton’, and never the “twain will meet”. Both, most likely good women, but perhaps look upon each other as someone alien and perhaps misguided or even evil. Perhaps one side is overly rational, the other, too intuitive in seeing how things can be done. Of course I am being simplistic, but still I think it brings out how difficult communication can be between humans, who in fact have good will. I say this in spite of the fact that I really have no trust in politicians, something that I “feel” strongly about and can be in fact irrational and unfair, though it is based on past years of being lied to. So now when a politician speaks, I take it for granted they are lying, just telling what they think the voters want to hear. I guess there is not way out of the conundrum.

Perhaps, one of the good things about getting older is that there comes a point in time when the realization comes, that all we have is our own take on things. In the past I tried to see everyone’s point, but ended up losing my own. So as I age, I am learning to be “stubborn”, to speak what I think is true, and let others have their say, but unless I can be convinced, I will hold my ground. In the meantime, trying to give the other a fair shake; though I am not sure I always succeed. I can be an arrogant self centered cuss. Though I believe that I am not the center of the universe; that belief is not always operative on the emotional level much of the time, if not all of it. We strive to be rational, grounded, objective, but I think for the most part as a species we fail at it and in the end that could be our undoing.

Politics, religion, families (clan and tribal fighting) and yes even sports or areas of conflict and at times cause a great deal of suffering and death. Some think if we get religion out of the equation then things will get better. Well what if we got politics out of the picture, or families or sports, would that help? I don’t think so, for we love to fight, kill and maim those we think are outsiders. Contempt, of which there is plenty in the world, is the first step towards violence. If we want a better world, then perhaps we should listen better, even if we don’t agree. For we each have our own unique experiences and feel the same frustrations when discounted. Knowing that we are pushed and pulled by our own inner experiences even if unconscious, can go a long way in helping us not be controlled by them. Maybe one day we will actually become rational when we learn not to underestimate the irrational that dwells within each of us and yes, has its place at the table.