Beethoven Contralto
By Savannah Ashley Redmon
© August 3rd, 2002
Theme - Sad

A moonlight sonata filters through the empty air,
a contralto hum I sing for morning's beloved.
The echoing notes dawdle in the dead dawn's daylight
as darkness engulfs a waking world,
leaving behind the ashes of yesterday
drifting upon a still wind.
The hushed crying ceases to rise mournfully on deaf ears
as the somber notes fall like a dying wave,
clinging to the brink of sanity's void,
reaching for a simple release
but gaining no grip.
The morrow is a still haze in the mists unknown
as today crawls to a sleepy, unfaltering future,
the sunrise ever so slowly creeping up the horizon of progress.
Yet the world sleeps,
the haunting melody playing on and on,
lighting upon needy ears that hear not a sound.
Beethoven's best could not rouse such a world,
such a place of broken dreams
and lifeless eyes.
And still he plays on,
his sonata reverberating through the dying souls of the universe
as I murmur along with the lingering piano
and listen to the slowing heartbeat
of the world around me.

Wow. I'm speechless (hard thing to do lol). Naw, but seriously babes, I don't know what to say. I love it....the imagery and emotion coming through in your words is...absolutely amazing, crystal clear. I love this babe, great job.

Thank you for responding Lil. The inspiration same from sitting here listening to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata and being absolutely astounded. I grew up listening to things like this, but it still amazes me that a man who was as deaf as Beethoven was could right such beautiful music and play it in utter perfection. It's unbelieveable. I am still amazed every time I listen to this song, as well as anything else he wrote. He was truly one of the greatest pianists of all time.

The reason it came out sort of sad and somber is because I was feeling somewhat mellow and the song just sounds so hauntingly sad.

Thank you for you comments though.

You're welcome babe. And I have to agree, Beethoven was an absolutely fantastic musician. Hell, I can't play music this well and I've got almost perfect hearing lol. I think, if you tried to put a happy spin on this, I'm not sure it would work. It's great just as it is, in my opinion anyway. Good work hun.

Nah, I didn't want the happy spin. I kinda wanted it to have a sad overlay to it, ya know? Thanx though.

Okay here you present a conflicting image with the double use of the word RISE. I would take the word out of the second line so that the somber notes fall like dying waves. This would strengthen the contrast in this image that is so prevelent throughout your poem



Here i find that the word access does not work. You are clinging and you are reaching and so i think you should gain no purchase or grip. as though you are trying to climb into sanity



This is nothing much but i thought that by removing a couplpe of words this line seemed to read better.

The morrow is yet a still haze in mists unknown.


Overall this is an excellent poem displaying some good contrasting imagery that carrys with it a haunting sadness. This is very well done and carrys a steady flow with the use of some good illiteration to help the poem along. Well done Savster. :)

Achingly beautiful images affixed to a touch of melancholy that is not altogether unwelcome. Powerfully writ.

I know the story Of Beethovan.
Part of why he could play was because he could feel the vibrations of the notes.
I did enjoy the sadness of this.
Great writing !
Bill

"The echoing notes dawdle in the dead dawn's daylight
as darkness engulfs a waking world,
leaving behind the ashes of yesterday
drifting upon a still wind."


Absolutely beautiful line, and a 10 for this poem because I enjoy playing music, and I do appreciate all different aspects that music offers everyone.

Your imagery was profound, and overall I was deeply touched by every word, and every picture placed in my heart.

Terrific work!! *claps*

Too bad you cannot include a cut of "Moonlight Sonata" to accompany this. I read this piece and shrugged, "Not bad". Then I reread it, with a tape of the sonata being played in the background, and was captivated. I'm not a musician nor a classical music afficianado; I prefer jazz. But this piece seems right in tune with the "Moonlight Sonata".

Lol. You know why that is don't you? *smiles happily* I wrote it while listening to that. That was what moved me to write, so I did. I'm glad you agree. :)

I heard some information was wanted about this poem so it can go in the book. Here:

Name: Savannah Ashley Redmon
Genre: Sad Poetry
Date Written: August 3rd, 2002
Poem Title: Beethoven Contralto

If you need anything else, let me know.