Fall
By Victoria Clark
© June, 2002
Theme - Love

I slip into your arms

and I fall

I am cleansed by your embrace

Every other lover
other kiss
other moment
is washed away


I am reborn for you

this is a great piece of short poetry. The way you open this poem is great



This is great imagery. the way you slip into arms that embrace and yet you fall. :) I also like the imagery between the cleansing embrace and being washed away. It fit so well with being reborn. very good imagery indeed. :)



Do you really need the words I am in this line? i thought it read better without them :)

Your poem opens powerfully and keeps that power right to the end. Short concise and to the point, i thought this was a very creative piece of desciptive emotion. simply beautiful :)

You know, I think you've got a point there. I think it does work better with just "cleansed by your embrace." Too many "I's" in the poem. Thanks for the help, Paul.

*old aristocratic broads voice* marvilous dear, simply marvilous...*end cracking old hag voice*

i wish i had a beautiful woman writting things like this about me.. in a sense that is.. ;)

Much enjoyed, this elegant simplicity. You capture so many images conjured through these simple words. Great opening, solid middle, sweet sentiment at the end. Well done!

I feel this is your best work, and that it belongs in the book.

Wow. Surprised me to see this in the book. Thanks, John.

I agree with all the above comments, this is a great poem. Unfortunately, I'm shattered - no sleep for nearly 24 hours will do that - soo, I can't be bothered to write it all. But you get what I mean, great piece babe :)

Nice one, and I hesitate to add that it reminds me of when I was assaulted, etc.. Pardon but, I just had to say that. Can't say how I feel about this from anything other than technical so... I won't speak furthur. :sad2:

This is simply beautiful! And furthermore it`s real art.

The opening lines "I slip into your arms and fall" with all that space between the single lines describe how long and how deep this falling is; and to me falling is even a symbol of dying (in a nice way) and you know what`s often compared to a "little death", don`t you?;)

Then the stanza in the middle where you describe how everything that was before is just erased, it doesn`t mean anything anymore.

And then you close the poem with this gorgeous line "I am reborn for you"; there`s a new start in sight, a new life. Oh God, I love this piece!:)

*is incredibly flattered* Why thank you, Sulpicia. High praise indeed.

Interesting that you would mention le petit morte, I hadn't thought of it that way. I love getting comments on poems to see what people bring to them. I like that connection.

Thanks again,
Shiara

You`re welcome. You certainly deserve the praise. :)

The idea of "le petit morte" was suddenly there; I didn`t really think you had it intended, but it made perfect sense, escpecially with the closing line and the mentioning of "rebirth". Besides I think there`s often a very close connection between death and love, and so it somehow all fit.

Have you ever read The Illuminatus Trilogy? The entire book is a mindfuck, and it has a great section discussing the intimate connection between love and death. It's really really good. Highly recommended, as long as ya don't freak out too easily. =)

I thought that this was very unique and suddle I really liked it alot.. ;)

Indeed. An excellent poem, truly revealing of your talent! My favorite thus far...

Thank you, Arthur. This one is a personal favorite, has a lot of story behind it (and keeps getting more. Funny how that happens. :))

I wrote it at work one day, trying to express what I would say if I were ever completely comfortable with someone, completely in love. It wasn't really about anyone specifically, just expression....I get some interesting results that way. :) Glad you liked it.