She was the love of his life,
The star of his dreams,
The girl in the indigo jeans.

He imagined being with her,
In many ways, many scenes,
The girl in the indigo jeans.

Standing by the sidewalk, along the beach,
But the girl that he wanted was too far out of reach.

He saw her for the first time and hoped maybe perchance,
She would say "yes" if he asked her to dance.

But she was out of his league,
Though he tried he couldn't get her, not by any means
The girl in the indigo jeans.

Even now that he's older and she's moved away,
In his heart she will forever stay.
~Davidf

That's quite sweet, David. I like the phrase 'the girl in the indigo jeans.'

It's commonplace and petty, with immature rhymes, and an inconsistent meter. I clicked on it because I thought it said "Inigo Jones". Meh. There go thirty seconds of my life.

What would we do without Oscar?

I'm afraid without me you'd suffer from literary inexcellence. Btw, David, I think gay poetry might work better for you. Your heart's probably in it more.

I still contend that while not everyone is aiming for literary excellence, they can still convey a sweet sentiment or two (but we all know how maudlin I can be).

Pamme, what you may term 'sweet,' I often deem 'sappy, 'inelegant,' 'overdone,' 'shallow,' 'graceless,' 'unconvincing,' occasionally 'emo,' 'clumsy,' 'immature,' 'maladroit,' 'one-dimensional,' 'grammatically incorrect,' 'superficial,' 'awkward,' or else, 'schmaltzy'.

Oh Oscar, your little post right there just showed me and everyone else how exceptionally ordinary you really are.
The fact that you know and understand the meaning of being 'emo' and then used it in a sentence to describe a poem on a poetry website... You are completely average like the rest of us. How does it feel to be middle-class?

i dont know why, but i just love the word "maladroit" . .


im weird like that.


now, for the stuck-up bitch in the jeans, boink her sister, she'll want you then . . .

I actually wanted more of this , Davidf, as it really begins to set up a momentum. So I was a bit put off just by that very last line which foreshortens the poem somewhat and comes as a bit of an anticlimax.

The rest is really very readable and had me hooked.

PS Maybe anticlimax is the effect you re after??? Just thought of that.