Fading
By Sean Peters "Divine Wolf"
Unknown Date
Theme - Dark

All Existence seems to fade before my eyes,
I see the goodness and fulfillment,
That those around me long strove for,
Fade into nothingness.
My soul is sorrowful,
And though I mourn their losses,
I can do nothing to help them,
For it is taking everything I have,
To keep me from Fading,
Into my own nothingness,
And if I fail,
Will anyone remember me?
As I have remembered,
Those that have Faded before me

There are some strong ideas here. Liked the concept you brought forth. Thanks for posting

I think the delivery could be stronger. Your opening line doesn't draw me in with punch. "Seems" feels like a weaker word here than making the line revolve around "fade" as an active verb. For example, it could become:
"All existence fades before my eyes"
It feels a bit wordy to me, but just my opinion.

Might this be better in Dark Poetry? Just a thought.

haha...I just put it in here..I dont know why..but it would go just fine in Dark poetry as well. and I thank you for your advice.

I also like the idea of fighting against fading very much, and can relate to this question if anyone remembered very well. It touched something inside me.
Like Duende I think the starting lines are a bit long, but towards the end it gets really great and touching.
:)

I also like the idea of fighting against fading. Strong and provocative.

To the book with you...

(oh, and I fixed your spelling errors) *wink*

Wow...I never thought this one would make it into the book...really..I honestly forgot about it..but I am glad that it is here. and thank you for the spelling corrections.