Name:Amanda Phillips
Title: Genetic Poetry
Date Written: September 7th, 2003
Theme: On Writing

Poetry is the DNA of the soul,
Passed down from generation to generation.

Twisting our words of bitterness
into a form of sweet release.

Shaping our emotions until they intertwine,
healing one another.

Molding our feelings from burning red
to a white simplicity.

Revealing thoughts
that refuse to remain voiceless.





My eternal thanks to Ashley for all the help!

I like your image here - poetry as a fundamental part of our being. My only ideas are to change a couple of phrases and the punctuation a bit. Using my patented copy and edit mode:

Just my two cents. Much enjoyed Firefly.

Bryan, I G, BAGEL, etc., etc.

This was horrible! Why did you even bother to post something like this? Even the queen of England wouldn't have her rear wiped with the paper this was printed on!!!







Hehe... had you going, right?

Now on a serious note, before I get kicked off the site for a very long list of offenses, I will tell you what I really think.

Brilliant idea. I think Bryan had some good thoughts, but I personally don't like the "(or Exdending)".

Also, how about something talking about how DNA and poetry both are passed down through the generations? Something along those lines perhaps...

But yes, very much enjoyed the concept of this poem!

Fellow Texan,

Arthur

Poetry is the DNA of the soul,
Passed down from generation to generation,
Much like heredity.

Twisting our words of bitterness
into a form of sweet release.

Shaping our emotions until they intertwine,
healing one another.

Molding our feelings from burning red
to a white simplicity.

Revealing thoughts
that refuse to remain voiceless.

Now tell me what yall think. And just to bust your bubble, no, you didn't have me going :devil:
Firefly

Take out the third line. It breaks the flow. Other than that, I thought this was better!

I thought that about the third line too. As did a friend of mine to whom I showed this.
Hows this?

Poetry is the DNA of the soul,
Passed down from generation to generation.

Twisting our words of bitterness
into a form of sweet release.

Shaping our emotions until they intertwine,
healing one another.

Molding our feelings from burning red
to a white simplicity.

Revealing thoughts
that refuse to remain voiceless.

i dunno...i liked the first version just fine...this obviously made a few peoples think...a very good thing indeed...you'll learn to write several versions of the same thought...kinda like what transpired here...um...yeah...anywayz...i thought this to be an excellant read...

sundry

Your eternal thinks wasn't necessary, just being thankful for this lifetime would have been enough. :D I do like how this turned out chica, very much. I'm glad I was of some help.

Please read my ID, lol




well, the poem just about summarises my passion for the 2 most important things in my life, poems and genes...
you've added a fan...thankx for sharing it dear

well just thought of adding this ending.plz tell me wht you think

ending at eternity
where all the poems meet

Sorry Ash, you're stuck with my eternal thanks. Can't get rid of 'em. :devil:

Sundry-I was hoping that you would see this one. I thought of you when I posted it... I'm glad that you liked it. :flowers: Flowers for you!

poeticDNA- I'm glad to have a fan. I think that you are the first! Those last lines are nice, but I like the...Mystery I suppose is the word that I'm looking for... of how I ended this.

Thanks guys (And Ashley)!

First version that I must copy over. :)

And off to the book with this one. :)

Just be sure and space it out a bit :)

:party: Whoo Hoo! Way to go Firefly!!!

Bryan

Total yayness

Wohoo! Another genetic poet - this bears some similarity with a poem I wrote a couple of years ago. I posted it on here in the 'Love Poetry' section but it didn't get a response. Maybe I could get some thoughts this time? I'll just add the link, rather than posting the whole thing;

http://www.gladiatorforums.com/index.php?a...f=11&t=7199&hl=

:D

This is a really interesting way to look at the art of poetry, Amanda, especially since it is scientific, and poetry is certainly not a science. You made id work, thoough, and congratulations on your entry in the book.